Character Development

This list started out as a sort of contract and guideline for expected behaviors in our home. We are trying to learn how to be parents who deal with the heart issues and developing character rather than just reacting to behaviors. As I was compiling and typing the list, I realized Tom and I need these guidelines posted as much for our own character development as we do for Gracie's growth. I began thinking I'm in the same boat as my daughter, we're in this together and she is watching me and how I live out these traits...and I've got plenty of room to improve. Thankfully, it's not about controlling and demanding, it's about love and discipline for the sake of growth for each of us.

OBEDIENCE: doing what someone says, right away, without being reminded

HONOR: treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude

PERSEVERANCE: hanging in there even after you feel like quitting

ATTENTIVENESS: showing people you love them be looking at them when they say their words

PATIENCE: waiting with a happy heart

SELF-DISCIPLINE: putting off present rewards for future benefits

GRATEFULNESS: being thankful for the things I have instead of grumbling about the things I don’t have

RESPECT: showing high regard for authority, for other people, for self, for property. Valuing all people as God’s creation.

COURAGE: Doing the right thing even when those around you don’t and following your conscience instead of the crowd.

HONESTY: Telling the truth, admitting wrong doing.

KINDNESS: Being helpful and understanding to others. Showing understanding of others by showing them care, compassion, friendship, generosity and a forgiving spirit. Treating others better than yourself.

RESPONSIBILITY: Being accountable and dependable in word and deed.

GOOD JUDGMENT: Basing decisions on wisdom, choosing worthy goals and setting proper priorities. Thinking through the consequences of your actions.


When Disciplining, (incomplete list):

1. Ask “why was that wrong?” at the end of discipline. Not to lecture, but to look at the heart issue.

2. Empathy communicates love, while at the same time allows the child to accept responsibility for the problem. Empathy validates the emotions a child is experiencing even though the actions that come out of these emotions may need correction. Demonstrating your love while your child learns from experience.

3. Pray!!!!, and especially when feeling at a loss for how to handle a situation.

4. Be angry, but take the time to step outside of the moment and plan a response instead of reacting.

5. Don’t forget to ignore certain behaviors when dealing with power struggles.